Warning: I have a lot of questions and have absolutely no idea how to ask them "correctly"

I have found a few video/text tutorials on how to merge esps/plugins/esms or converting to ba2s. Some tutorials have stated it can be done in xEdit (and after about 3 hours of searching online for xEdit...i discovered that is the generic term used for a program I already have...FO4Edit...so yeah that's what you're dealing with)

I've watched numerous videos about installing/configuring/basics/usage of FO4Edit...and it's awesome it's allowed me to do amazing things...like allow for a small bit of happiness when building a water resource (I mean seriously beth...why would that not be plausible for people to be happy because they have freakin WATER)

I've seen posts, both here and elsewhere, about merged plugins...and then the standalone (whatever that means) and when i tried setting that up...I need to have FalloutNV...and then i read how allegedly you can use the FNV setting in merged to merge plugins for FO4? In the past, I've read threads about merging and everytime I say "but that's not what i'm looking to do" and then today while reading through this forum it occurred to me...I actually don't know what I'm looking to do. So...all of that said: How do I a)decide what plugins can be merged and b) merge the plugins that can be merged?

Mind you I'm not an idiot (well, my wife would argue that I am...but she's not a member) I'm a competent and computer literate person...I just lack the knowledge to DO what I believe and have read about that can be done.

Thank you for your time consideration and patience...I'm not old...just probably older than you; you'll catch to me one day...but i'll have to die first.

So are you looking to combine several mods together into one plugin? Or are you looking to make something like a merge patch?